Mum just set fire to the kitchen

Not just burnt something so it all went a bit smoky, and everyone had a little cough, opened some windows and batted the smoke away, but a proper full on fire with big flames and everything. Plastic boxes were on the hob, which was on. Hahahahaha. I shouldn't laugh, really. Mum's covered in black sooty ashy stuff and is in a bit of a state now. Mainly because she tried to clean the black off the ceiling and now realises that the gleaming spotless patch now shows how dirty the rest is so she has to clean it all. Not in a state because our house nearly burnt down, of course.

I was oblivious to the whole kerfuffle. It wasn't until dad went "Oh." from the bottom of the garden at the sight of mum standing by the back door with melted plastic boxes, covered in black, and shaking, that I looked up from reading my book, sunbathing, and parroted dad's "Oh." It's even a shit book so how I didn't get distracted is beyond me. Our house now stinks of burnt stuff and black stuff is coated everywhere. My choice of vocabulary is astounding today, I know. Mum and dad started talking about insurance, which is when I realised there would be no point in me standing there any longer because I would literally just be standing there not taking anything in. My presence was no longer needed.

She hasn't had the best of days though, bless her. Burnt herself quite badly ironing this morning before tripping the electricity and enduring my screams of "MUM!!! I WAS LISTENING TO STEVEN MOFFAT BEING INTERVIEWED BY GRAHAM NORTON AND NOW I'M GOING TO MISS IT!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO IRON NOW??? HMMM??? YOU'VE RUINED IT!!!!!!!!" Bit excessive but I've only got 5 months left before I'm officially an adult so I might as well. Then she dropped the marmite and it smashed, thus enduring my brother's screams of "MUM!!! THAT'S A NEW JAR OF MARMITE! WE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE!!!! ARRRGGHHHHHmumblemumble." Bit excessive but he's only got 4 months before he becomes a teenager so he might as well get some practice in.

Seriously though, if mum hadn't noticed the fire then the result would have been so much worse than dirty ceilings. We don't have a smoke alarm. Well, we DO, but it's still in the plastic (ironic) in the loft. Thankfully, touch wood, this is the first time we've had a fire. The only time we had to call the fire brigade was when I was 4. I locked myself in the toilet and couldn't get out, so dad had to call the fire brigade to bash the door down to get me out. Well I wasn't having any of that, so I unlocked the door and walked out...just as the fire brigade arrived. I got a teddy called Sam out of it from the firemen though. That incident being my best, second only to sticking orange peel up my nose and being pinned down at A&E before I died. Standard.

I'm not going to post this on twitter so I wonder if anyone will actually find it? Doctor Who beckons. Happy Easter. Ciao. X

Cardiff stole my heart

I'm a London girl. Always have been, always will be. I can be sauntering down South Bank or being amused, still, by the silver soldier in Covent Garden in 30 minutes. EVERYTHING is in London. The concerts, the shops, the musicals, the restaurants, the tv shows, the meetings, the magazines, the famous people (always important), and the crazy people (equally as important). So, I've always wanted to go to uni in London (if I went at all), because it just makes sense to. I wouldn't need accommodation, everything's there, and it's the media hub. But then I went to Cardiff...

I've always wanted to go to Wales. Not quite sure why. My automatic answer is RHOD GILBERT DOCTOR WHO SHEEP but somehow that wasn't a good enough excuse for my family to book a holiday there. Half of the people I talk to on twitter are Welsh too so I clearly get drawn to them. And my surname is Jones so I'm obviously from Wales. Obviously. Anyway, Cardiff uni kept being mentioned when I was looking for journalism courses last year, and at first I disregarded it because of it being so far away, but so many people recommended it that soon enough I was downstairs asking dad whether it'd be cheaper to drive or get the train to Cardiff. I was expecting the 'rents to say no to going to the open day but they didn't. Mum booked the tickets and suddenly the countdown was on for April 5th. I was going to Wales!

                                                no mum

The train journey (squeaky train which had mum in tears laughing. immature) was only 2 hours from Paddington, a lot shorter than I thought, but the weather stayed the same the whole time. Grey, wet, foggy, miserable. Imagine me and mum carrying 5 heavy bags, with our hair in our faces, rainwater seeping through our shoes and trying to figure out how to get to the Premier Inn. I was literally going by a Google maps flashback, but it worked. Something I did learn on the train was that when you go through a tunnel really fast, your ears REALLY hurt like when you're on a plane. And when you come out of the tunnel to a 'Welcome to Wales, Croeso i Gymru' sign with sheep EVERYWHERE it is very exciting.

"I've gotta go! I've got 5 minutes to pick the kids up from school!" said the hot strong-accented man with a broken arm, running over the road in front of traffic and seeming to know everyone there. Amazing. My first Welsh occurrence was amazing. Amy was very nice too. She wasn't called Amy, but she looked like Amy Grimward so I named her Amy and she shall be known as Amy forevermore. Amy was lush and worked at the Premier Inn, the lush Premier Inn with our lush room and lush Freeview and lush bed and lush view. Lush. #lush At this point I thought mum would have wanted to sleep for a bit, but she wanted us to go out and wander! I could have done with a nap. #nan But we did and wandering was LOVELY. The main centre was literally minutes away and there were shops EVERYWHERE and it was SO modern and pretty. We could have spent hours shopping but we had a date with twitter.

Jamie's Italian is LUSH #lush and if you ever go to Cardiff, I recommend you go. The spag bol is gorgeous and the chocolate and raspberry brownie is incredible. We didn't have a clue where Jamie's was and I had gotten dead nervous about meeting people whereas mum was dead excited. She didn't even know them! We found it though, and Carrie Lisa Katie Kate and Molly were already there. They had suddenly gone from words on a screen and a little photo to fully grown human beings with Welsh accents. Dude. I won't go into the meal, but basically they are all lush #lush and I was sad when we left. I love them.

                                                        oh look who it is

                                                             katie!

                                                      short arse

BACK TO THE REASON WE WENT TO CARDIFF: It was LUSH #lush weather the next day which made everything a trillion times gorgeouser (word). We spent just over 3 hours looking around the uni which I  absolutely loved. It's SO much nicer than the London ones I've looked at. The course looks really good, the buildings are so pristinely pretty, the people are lovely and the setting is lush #lush with parks and gardens everywhere, and still only being minutes away from the centre and Cardiff Bay (which we didn't get to look around, nor did we find any Doctor Who shiz. boo) On the way out we bumped into Katie Waissel (cow) before grabbing an M&S lunch and legging it to the station with double the amount of bags we came with. I was genuinely upset when the train pulled away from the station; Cardiff stole my heart; but I've told the twitter Welshies to decorate their spare room because I'm coming back. Now I can't stop saying lush #lush, getting flashbacks of sheep and thinking in Carrie's accent. Lush. #lush

                                                        love

boo

FINAPRILLY

FINALLY APRIL...FINALPRILLY...yeah...

January, February and March were bitches. They hung around like a frickin' keen fly and wouldn't leave. January was full of exams, real ones and mock ones. This made me constantly snappy and aggy and other crocodile type feelings. Scaly, possibly. February was just full of meh with Auschwitz and the start of coursework. Cry. Although Sarah Millican was rather ace. March was FAT and it felt like it was rolling all over me being an uncomfortable large thing, dragging its days and throwing shit at me. Big Red Nose Show and MORE COURSEWORK. Arsehole.

MAIS, Avril est ici et J'AIME AVRIL. Coursework is FINISHED! Here's our AS Media Studies horror trailer which I am VERY proud of...

My auntie arrived from Canada this morning and she's staying here for a week. This got me thinking. She moved to Canada in her early twenties and it's so lush out there. I want to go too. Ever since I was little my dad has always said "You can move out when you're 18. Move to Canada." Lolz. Yes okay. But now I'm seriously thinking about it. I don't like the thought of uni! I don't particularly like any or any course. I don't know what I want to do anymore and I don't think I'd be very good at uni. I'm not very uniish. So I want to move to Canada. I want to write my book in Canada after sixth form. Cool? Sweet. Sorted.

I'm going to Cardiff next week though to their uni open day. It does look really good there but I'm not keen on the courses. To be honest, I've always wanted to go to Wales so I'm treating it as a holiday even if mum isn't. I'm taking her for a meal with twitter Welshies which she's surprisingly happy with. RESULT.

THEN IT'S THE EASTER HOLIDAYS! Over 2 weeks of nothing and chocolate. Cor. Then three days back at school until the Royal Wedding, which I AM GOING TO. My family (mum's side) is very Royally and I seem to have acquired that gene, so me, mum and 3 friends are going up the night before to sleep ON THE MALL outside Buckingham Palace. Srsly. This is happening.

THEN IT'S MAY! ...and study leave and more exams and I'll probably have more EUFNWJCYUHYB WHAT IS MY LIFE TUHNGCHYMJYG moments but we'll see how we go. X