"Housemates. You have been evicted. Please leave the house via the door on your left." And then my life ended.

It's been over a week since I left the Big Brother house. It's hard on the outside. So difficult to adjust to reality. I've seen countless psychologists but nothing is helping. I keep waiting outside my bathroom, waiting for the green light to appear above it before I go in. I've waited by the hatch every morning in the kitchen waiting for cereal. I've put a sofa in my garden as a makeshift Smoker's Corner, and I don't even smoke. I just miss the house so much. MY house. My beautiful lovely house, which has now been INVADED by squatters making me want to storm it and drag them all out like an angry parent.

I wanted to do this blog post as soon as I got back, when I was on a complete high from being in the actual house for an afternoon, but being the procrastinator queen that I am, I never got round to it. It was quite possibly definitely the best day of my life. Big Brother's been in my life since, like, forever, and seeing as I'm not even 18 yet, I am officially the youngest person to ever be a Big Brother housemate. I'm having that as my title now. I want to be known as that. Put it on my gravestone please and thank you.

We got to walk up the BLOODY STAIRS like a PROPER ENTRANCE through the ACTUAL SLIDING DOOR

With scouserachel and simperman ON THE SOFAS. WITH THE WELCOME PACK. You know, the one that KERRY KATONA had last night. js.

Jungle Cats. Oh, it was war.

GARDEN. WITH ME IN IT. 

Oh ay up James Ingham 

There's a bloody SAUNA. It's really hot. Like a sauna.

We lived on champagne and breadsticks.

James and Ariane in Smoker's Corner

.......don't

That shit hurt

STAIRS IN THE BACKGROUND

Comfy chairs

Emma Kennedy and the Diary Room

Just making ourselves at home y'know

WANT. PLEASE. THANK YOU.

TASK TIME

In bed with Rachel

Quite amused by my leg

Bedroooooooooooom

Picture of the day

I was just so HAPPY, man

Well there are the photos, and there may be more official ones soon. I don't know. We're all getting our own DVDs of the afternoon, and being edited into a proper show (which I'll hopefully be able to post up here). If I hear Marcus Bentley go "4.26pm. Louise is in the bedroom." I will frickin' wet myself. I don't want to say anything more so it doesn't ruin the actual 'show' for you. It'll just have to be a SURPRISE. *jazz hands* I hope we get a best bits too, but if we don't, here are my best bits...

• Within minutes of entering the house, Emma walked straight into a glass wall. Highlight of the day settled there and then.
• James quite literally taking the plunge into the pool (heated) when it was pouring with rain.
• Ariane asking if the grass was real, how to work the toilet, and that you can't see out of blindfolds.
• Getting in the bath with Rachel then James turning the water on.
• First entering the house as a housemate. I can't tell you how trippy that feels as a Big Brother fan.
• Us all in the Diary Room before leaving and talking to Big Brother.
• But the ultimate best moment is the green light suddenly appearing above the bedroom door, after Big Brother telling us we weren't allowed in. So, as no one else had noticed, I went up and pushed the door. It opened. I screamed. Everyone else ran after me, switched the light on, and we, quite literally, ran around the bedroom screaming and jumping on the beds, before Big Brother told us to get out. Mum said she was mortified when she found out I was the one who found it unlocked. Not my fault. They accidently unlocked it. *angel face*

All in all, it was so bloody amazingly brilliantly surrealy and any other excitable adjectives you can come up with ACE, and it was all down to Julian Stockon. So if you're reading this Julian, THANK YOU, again, for the billionth time. 

Seeing the new celebrity housemates in MY house last night was weird and I can't wait to see what Big Brother have planned for them............BUT SERIOUSLY GET OUT MY BLOODY BED AND TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, YOU'LL RUIN THE CARPET. X